Your presentation or speech has gone well. You’re in the concluding question and answer session and feeling good. Then, whammo, someone comes up with a question or comment for which you’re totally unprepared, or where you’d rather not go into detail.
Most people have their own ways of getting out of this kind of situation, some better than others. But I’d like to pass on a simple little technique I learned from a senior diplomat. He called it ‘Bridging and Building’, and it’s a very respectful way of neatly sidestepping a topic and leading the conversation back to something you’re safer with – and usually without the other person realising what you’re doing.
It works by creating a conversational ‘bridge’ from the current topic onto one you’d prefer, usually with a ‘that-reminds-me’ remark, then building on the new topic for a couple of sentences to give it a ‘soft landing’, then posing a question to anchor the new subject in the other person’s mind.
Here’s what it might sound like in a simple form:
“It’s interesting you raise the subject of (topic A) because one of our clients was talking about exactly the same thing recently, and he said how important (topic B) was in his dealings with suppliers, especially considering that it fitted in so well with his company’s purchasing strategies. And I’d imagine this would be something that’s important to you?”
Yes, it sounds simple – and perhaps that’s the beauty of the technique. In fact, I’d be surprised if you haven’t used it yourself from time to time. Certainly, you’ll hear politicians using it a lot.
But what seems to make the device particularly effective is that (a) it shifts the ‘responsibility’ for the new topic onto the person you’re speaking with (and which might give him or her a nice little ego boost), and (b) concludes the build with a question which seeks a response from the other person, effectively anchoring the new topic in his or her mind.
Let’s take a look in a little more detail. For simplicity, we’ll start with a non-business example, substituting ‘food’ for topic A, and ‘music’ for topic B – and see how the components work with each other:
First, we create a bridge with a ‘reminds me’ link: “Talking about food (topic A) reminds me of an article I was reading the other day about restaurants (something to do with food), and it mentioned how important music is in creating the right ambience (something to do with music) … “
Then, we build on the new subject for a couple of sentences: “…and the article talked about how different sorts of music create different kinds of feelings in people – and I started thinking about how I really enjoy relaxing to classical music – something like Mozart or Brahms …”
Then, having established the subject in the other person’s mind, we now lead smoothly into a question: “… and I imagine you’d be something of a music connoisseur, right? What sort do you like to listen to?”
Let’s try another example, this time in a presentation context, where the other person might be talking about, say, the possibility of a price discount, and you’d like to shift the subject onto something like customer service:
“Actually, it’s interesting you mention the possibility of a discount because I was talking to another customer recently about exactly the same thing, and we were comparing one product against another – and she told me was very concerned about the level of customer support she would be getting. And I know that’s something we’re quite meticulous about. In fact, it goes right to the very core of our business and is something we’re very proud of. And I would imagine this is something you’d be very concerned about, aren’t you?”
Tailoring the technique for yourself
THE BRIDGE
It’s pretty easy to make the bridge from the current subject onto the new subject. Just about anything will do.
You could switch from the existing subject onto something akin to it – something the other person said earlier, something that you were (supposedly) thinking about recently, read in a book or magazine, something that come up in a discussion with another client, something a colleague was telling you about, something you heard in a lecture. (How far from the actual truth you want to make this is up to you.)
Here are some example bridges to give you an idea:
“It’s quite timely you raise that subject because it leads into something else I think it’s important we cover…”
“Actually, I think you put your finger on the underlying premise with something you mentioned earlier…”
“When you were talking earlier about (whatever they were talking about), it raised a few thoughts in my mind about…”
“I’m glad you mentioned that, because it’s part of something I was discussing with the PM in a cabinet meeting recently…”
THE BUILD
Now that you’ve ‘attributed’ the new subject to the other person, you’re bound to have invoked their curiosity – wondering what it was they ‘said’ that led your thinking onto new paths. This has the effect of distancing the original subject from their current thinking, even if just a little.
From here, you only need to talk about the new subject for a couple of sentences to allow it to settle in the other person’s mind.
THE QUESTION
You may often find that the question isn’t necessary. However, the important thing about the question, even if it’s a rhetorical one, is that the other person’s unconscious mind will have to answer it internally, whether they actually make a spoken reply or not. And in so doing, the question’s corresponding mental picture will slip into the other person’s on-going mental dynamics, thus further displacing the original subject from their current thoughts.
PROVISOS
Simple though it is, I’ve found this to be a powerful and effective technique, and this has been borne out by the experiences of the people we teach it to in our presentation courses.
But you can’t use it to get away with murder. If someone is determined to pursue a particular subject they will. In that case, it’s best to confess whatever shortfalls there are in your thinking and take the flack.
But for most cases, you’ll find Bridging & Building is a great way of helping you out of that occasional awkward spot.
(I should also add that it’s a life-saving device for dealing with boring people at after-hours business functions, especially those who are determined to prattle on and on about themselves. Just something to keep in mind.)
